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- Value Over Validation
Howdy,
Last week, I debriefed you on my full-time work.
This week, I'm breaking down a phrase that I coined in college.
It started with a whiteboard.
Sophomore year of college, I had a whiteboard next to my door. I would spend each Sunday evening writing down quotes so that I’d see inspirational messages every time I left my dorm. It set the tone for my week.
Here are a few favorites that made the board:
Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.
If you’re always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The words of well-known figures shaped my perspective each day.
Until one day, I wrote something on the board that wasn’t attributed to a former president or a famous author. It was my own phrase.
Value over validation.
The meaning of value over validation.
Value - relentlessly uncovering ways you can serve others
Validation- serving yourself by collecting titles that feed your ego
Value centers on others. Validation centers on the person in the mirror.
This phrase is a reminder to choose others over myself.
I’ve meditated on the phrase routinely since I came up with it. Here’s what I’ve learned: it’s a paradox.
The paradoxical nature of value over validation.
Those that deliver value for others develop trusting, meaningful relationships. People who choose value over validation couldn’t give a dang if you notice their service, but it becomes impossible to ignore over a lifetime because it is so rare.
Those that focus on validation cut off opportunities to develop meaningful relationships with others. The very thing they seek, the approval of others, is harder to come by due to their lack of authenticity. You cost yourself your well-being and potential to serve.
The paradox is that the absolute best thing you can do for yourself is to serve others. I’m talking about people who choose value by not doing much of any talking at all. They listen to others, they serve others, they love others, and they let those three things do the talking.
It's easy to understand, challenging to consistently execute, and paradoxically more beneficial than we can possibly imagine.
Thanks for reading
Just like the whiteboard in my dorm room, I hope this message sets the tone for your week!
Josh
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